Straightedge Love

I’ve been called “straightedge” many times, and for those of you who don’t know, “straightedge” is the same thing as a “goodie-two-shoes” and it frustrates me to no end!! And not for the reasons you may think. Being called straightedge doesn’t bother me in the least, it’s WHY people think I’m straightedge is what kills me. I didn’t used to be so nice on the surface. God changed me (and is daily changing me). I want more than anything to share the hope I have been given and the love that has set me free. That freedom in Jesus released me from a lot of the bonding sin that shackled me before Christ came to rule in my heart. BUT I’m still a VERY broken and needy person. God is molding me into the man he wants me to be, but today was a slap in the face. I was getting praised for “having a big heart” and being compassionate etc.. But I felt like the reason behind all that love was lost on the person. I explained that I wouldn’t have that kind of love if Christ hadn’t poured out so much on me… But I still saw they were just looking at me, starry eyed, saying “wow Daniel, you are such a GOOD PERSON.” And it KILLED ME.

I don’t know. I often feel that I don’t seem to be making any progress in effectively portraying the God who blows my mind, ruthlessly loves me, and supports me daily. Today I felt like the fool of Proverbs 26:7. “A wise saying spoken by a fool is as useless as the legs of a crippled person.”

People see me as someone they can trust. They see me as a straight-edge, goodie-two-shoes who can house-sit and take care of your dogs while they’re on vacation. But I want to be more than that! I want to be that light on a hill, shining brightly with otherworldly light, not just being nice on the surface. I want to have an honest love that runs so deeply within me that people can’t help but feel the weight of it coursing through me…

1 John 4:7-12. “Dear friends, we should love each other, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has become God’s child and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love to us: He sent his one and only Son into the world so that we could have life through him. This is what real love is: It is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us. He sent his Son to die in our place to take away our sins. Dear friends, if God loved us that much we also should love each other. No one has ever seen God, but if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is made perfect in us.”